Posted by The Dean of Cincinnati

Photo courtesy of here.

Just south of the Metropolitan Sewer District—yes, that means a few blocks from where the open-air pools of our region’s excrement get eaten by micro-organisms—there are blocks of totally abandoned buildings.  This can’t really come as a surprise:  who wants to live next to a place that stinks like everybody’s poop?  But there may be another solution, a money making concept that takes adult entertainment and tucks it away in an adult district out of view of families and religious people.  This could provide an economic benefit to our City’s struggling budget.  Why have City Council fight over whether we can keep human service funding in the budget, or whether we can keep inner-city health clinics open, when a revenue stream could be secured to fund those things in perpetuity?

Why not establish an adult entertainment district in the abandoned area next to the MSD?  There is plenty of space.  There could be secured parking, clubs, bars, even movie theaters—as well as traditional fare, like bookstores, peepshows, and so forth.

Is your stomach already turning, not at the thought of the sewer stench, but at the thought of actually promoting perverted sexual behavior?

Turns out that, according to the United States Supreme Court, you may be shit out of luck.  According to this case, municipalities must show negative secondary affects to adult entertainment before proceeding with regulations.  One must wonder if Cincinnati Municipal Code, Chapter 899, was enforced with such a study in mind.  Would it be easy to show a negative secondary effect to allowing adult entertainment in an abandoned and obscure location next to the MSD?

Wouldn’t the economic benefit to funding, for example, our City’s care for the poorest and the least among us outweigh the religious morality against letting some guys look at naked women? 

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