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The Cincinnati Beacon

Politics, for Four Year Olds
Sunday, January 13, 2008

Posted by The Dean of Cincinnati

Photo courtesy of here.

Last night, I gave my son his first lesson in what might be considered politics—specifically the manner by which television commercials sometimes lie to manipulate the minds of consumers.  He seemed rather disturbed by the lesson, which centered around “Green Bags,” a product that advertises on Cartoon Network, sometimes appearing while we watch Spongebob.  After seeing the commercial just once, my son was sold on the concept of “Green Bags,” and even told my wife the next day that she should “stop throwing your money away and buy Green Bags”—a quote taken right from the television.

If you have not seen the advertisements, the Green Bags purport to keep produce fresh for much longer periods, all due to some scientific-sounding explanations about how Green Bags are made.

The second time the commercial came on, my son recognized the Green Bags right away.  He even got excited, and started telling me how we should get them to save money and keep our fruits and vegetables longer.  So I sat him up on my knee and tried to give him his first lesson in media.

“Sometimes,” I said, in my best Daddy-voice, “TV commercials tell lies.”

My son seemed rather upset at this notion.  He paused, then continued to tell me how great Green Bags would be for our household.

“No,” I protested, “You can’t always believe what commercials say.  Sometimes commercials tell lies to trick people.  That’s not very nice, is it?”

My son agreed that it was, in fact, not very nice to tell lies—but he countered that the Green Bag commercials were telling the truth.

So, with just a bit of Googling, I found this televised news segment.  It shows how the Green Bags appear to work for carrots and green peppers, but how they actually make other produce items decompose at a faster rate than traditional storage techniques.

First up, the segment shows the bags working for carrots.  This made my son very happy.  “See?” he asked.  “They really do work.”

“Keep watching,” I urged, already knowing what would come next.  The broadcast continued, showing several examples of the Green Bags failing miserably.  “See,” I told my son, as we watched.  “The Green Bags are not working.”

My son’s face got very serious while watching the broadcast on my screen.  I could see his mind processing that the television commercial had, in fact, apparently told him a lie:  Green Bags, at least according to the experiment on the newscast, did not keep produce more fresh as promised. 

We returned to Spongebob, and my son jumped on my lap, pressing his head close to my shoulder.  He seemed upset.  “Is something bothering you?” I asked.

“The commercial lied,” he said, with sadness.

“Well, not all commercials lie.  You just need to be careful.” Then Spongebob returned to the screen, and we forgot about Green Bags, turning our attention to the yellow and porous character from Bikini Bottom.

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