On today's date in The Beacon archives, we published:•Funny Finney! Sometimes, they guy makes a lot of sense. (2010)
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Posted by The Dean of Cincinnati
ROACH? That’s right: the Ruthless Organization Against Citizen Heroes—a group that has emerged to promote “evil” in opposition to the likes of self-proclaimed heroes like Cincinnati’s Shadow Hare. We notified the founder of ROACH, The Potentate, about Shadow Hare’s recent exploits, and he provided The Beacon with some public commentary on our local patron of misguided vigilantism.
“Shadowhare’s recent public appearance was an appalling display of shallow publicity and shameless self promotion,” said The Potentate. “Attempting to get paid at a social event at a nightclub (during the day no less) elevates him at best to the heroic ranks of Paris Hilton or Heidi and Spencer.”
“Even as people who loathe the ranks of these Citizen Heroes as much as we do, we at ROACH found this exercise in begging especially pathetic,” continued The Potentate. “His claims that he will use the funds to bring more heroes to Cincinnati is dubious at best. More than likely that money will be used for one more night at a Motel 6 or a bottle of Boones for him and his ‘sidekick.’”
The Potentate issued a challenge to Shadow Hare.
“Shadowhare I call out to you,” he concluded. “They say that crime doesn’t pay, and they are right… However villainy does pay, so if you would like to stop losing fights with vagrants and have a roof over your head, our doors are open for training and indoctrination into the ranks of ROACH.”
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