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On today's date in The Beacon archives, we published:
•City on Hook for F.S. Restaurant (2008)•Bob Kraft, Henry Heimlich’s Spokesperson, Hypes Nazi (2007)
•Debunkify Countdown for July 10th (2006)
•Sleepwalking to Disaster (2006)
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Tuesday, July 17, 2007
The Cincinnati Adult District: Early Proposal
Posted by The Dean of Cincinnati
Photo courtesy of here.
Just south of the Metropolitan Sewer District—yes, that means a few blocks from where the open-air pools of our region’s excrement get eaten by micro-organisms—there are blocks of totally abandoned buildings. This can’t really come as a surprise: who wants to live next to a place that stinks like everybody’s poop? But there may be another solution, a money making concept that takes adult entertainment and tucks it away in an adult district out of view of families and religious people. This could provide an economic benefit to our City’s struggling budget. Why have City Council fight over whether we can keep human service funding in the budget, or whether we can keep inner-city health clinics open, when a revenue stream could be secured to fund those things in perpetuity?
Why not establish an adult entertainment district in the abandoned area next to the MSD? There is plenty of space. There could be secured parking, clubs, bars, even movie theaters—as well as traditional fare, like bookstores, peepshows, and so forth.
Is your stomach already turning, not at the thought of the sewer stench, but at the thought of actually promoting perverted sexual behavior?
Turns out that, according to the United States Supreme Court, you may be shit out of luck. According to this case, municipalities must show negative secondary affects to adult entertainment before proceeding with regulations. One must wonder if Cincinnati Municipal Code, Chapter 899, was enforced with such a study in mind. Would it be easy to show a negative secondary effect to allowing adult entertainment in an abandoned and obscure location next to the MSD?
Wouldn’t the economic benefit to funding, for example, our City’s care for the poorest and the least among us outweigh the religious morality against letting some guys look at naked women?
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17 Jul 2007 at 10:30 am | #
.
While our free radical days might support the free speech, victimless proposition: Time and maturing perspective reveals a degrading visualization of women through exploitation !
We suspect the Dean may have a different perspective with the character molding influence of a daughter or GRAND-girl ?
.
17 Jul 2007 at 10:34 am | #
This is really the dumbest idea you could propose; “Cincinnati needs titty bars and jack-off bookstores so it can feed and clothe the poor.” Wrong and wrong. Look at that map. You see the football field? That’s Spinney Field. Do you know what’s next to Spinney Field? Maybe you don’t. And not even that matters. Jack-off bookstores in particular are classless. Does no one have a computer? Can you not get some quality porn from the internet, or do you need to get in your car and drive to the jack-off bookstore and jack-off in their little movie booth? The poor are being clothed and fed, just fine. Have you not seen them lately, sleeping on the benches in Government Square, Washington Park, the bushes between Eggleston and 71? I have. They look good, aside from being mentally ill, and putting a jack-off bookstore next to the Police Academy isn’t going to fix them being crazy.
When The Beacon burns through its initial spit of cash, will you look back and wonder if you could have editorialized for something more broadly meaningful, or is this just an expensive joke?
It’s not funny yet, nor is it smart.
17 Jul 2007 at 10:57 am | #
You’re right. Forget the first amendment. Forget individual liberty. Forget the fact that there are blocks of dilapidated buildings that will never get filled with people again. There’s a football field nearby. That’s important.
17 Jul 2007 at 11:11 am | #
Why is Cincinnati fixated on sex? All these comments about adult business being perverted and people jacking off are troubling.
Have you people never been to a strip club? The food is usually a quite good and the entertainment is entertaining. It’s also legal and regulated.
Grow up Cincinnati
17 Jul 2007 at 11:15 am | #
AMEN! Let Freedom RING!! The Conventions constantly complain about not having these venues and pretty soon will stop coming here because of a lack of Adult Entertainment… For those who dont agree look the other way, noone says you have to support these venues… If you are not for this do not complain when the city services are continued to be cut off! The KEY word is TAX REVENUE!! I think the Dean has a great idea to kill 2 birds with one stone!
17 Jul 2007 at 11:35 am | #
That area is about to be developed as the Metro West Developement.
17 Jul 2007 at 12:52 pm | #
Please tell us more. I googled and couldn’t find anything.
17 Jul 2007 at 01:23 pm | #
City frees $413,000 for land at MetroWest site
17 Jul 2007 at 01:32 pm | #
If you are concerned for the poor and want to give the suburban mega church, soccer moms, something to do; urge them to build CityLink there. These people have loads of cash to spend on, pretending to help the poor. They also claim their mega mall for the under served will improve whatever neighborhood it lands in(I don’t believe this, even a little bit). Maybe the people of Lower Price Hill will fall for it and welcome CL with open arms. The good news is that when it turns out to be a colossal failure it can then be turned into a strip club / casino; all you’ll have to do is add a little neon and some strobe lights.
17 Jul 2007 at 02:32 pm | #
.
“...You’re right. Forget the first amendment. Forget individual liberty….”
This is not individual liberty or free speech. Just ask their pimp, drug dealer or bull-dyke lover.
This is indenture servitude, PERIOD !
We have visited plenty, in our lifetime, and NO experience was enjoyable. It revealed desperation Darwinism and a perverted vision of self-indulgence.
The sluts do not work for the peep house. They work for their daddy dealer or pimp, PERIOD !
.
17 Jul 2007 at 02:36 pm | #
I forgot. Prime office space usually exists in a hard to reach location behind a train depot near sewage plants.
I know that’s where I’d like to report to the office for my credible business venture.
17 Jul 2007 at 02:36 pm | #
JFD!
A post from you I like!
17 Jul 2007 at 02:51 pm | #
FF, it’s not like I invented the connection between the two.
17 Jul 2007 at 03:14 pm | #
There’s nothing to fixate about. It’s just a lousy idea.
The Beacon proposal itself presumes titty bars to be distasteful and so hides them under the Eighth Street viaduct. Unknowingly next door to the Cincinnati Police Academy (as anyone who had actually snooped through that neighborhood would know), and unknowingly in a location that the city is already planning to develop for something that makes better sense.
Rather than be honest and propose that every neighborhood should have a topless bar, an adult bookstore and a massage parlor because we’re all adults, there’s nothing wrong with anyone who patronizes any of them, and they all could make the city some money, Dean wanted to be clever and put something he thought no one wanted where he thought no one would care.
While we’re at it, let’s move all the homeless people to Montana because it has a lot of square miles and its population is small. No one lives there and no one will care. (I came up with that in the fifth grade)
If it’s a bad idea at all it’s a bad idea anywhere.
If I want a lap dance, why do I have to go to Lower Price Hill and be made to feel like a degenerate with all the other degenerates who have to go to Lower Price Hill to get a lap dance?
That’s like having to go to The Dock just so I can make out with another guy.
17 Jul 2007 at 03:41 pm | #
I did know the police train near there. What does that have to do with anything? Maybe the police need something to do when the finish training.
I did not know about this MetroWest idea. And I must say, now that I know about it, that I don’t get it. Is there an office space shortage in Cincinnati? Do people really want to have an office near the sewage plant?
Would people want to go near a sewage plant for strip clubs. Not if there was another option—but right now in Cincinnati, there are no other options.
In cities like Atlanta, the strip clubs are the most successful businesses.
And while we’re at it, you don’t need to go anywhere for a lap dance. The Yellow Pages have three pages of services that will deliver strippers to your door.
Can you imagine making pizza parlors illegal, while still allowing pizza to be delivered to your door?
17 Jul 2007 at 05:14 pm | #
I favor an all male district!
17 Jul 2007 at 05:36 pm | #
.
‘...FF, it’s not like I invented the connection between the two….”
Granted, but, if there were such a demand for class acts, such as Vegas, there would be an exploding underground in Cincinnati. There isn’t, unless you cruse OTR.
Why pay for a crack-head stripper ?
Sorry, but fortunately, we don’t see a market in the ‘queen’ city !
Especially, so close to our pork filled docks !
.
17 Jul 2007 at 06:36 pm | #
well, initially I thought this topic was just something to raise peoples’ ire, and that you’ve been spending too much time volunteering for the Socialist Iron Party. But, upon a minutes’s beer-informed reflection let me begin:
Lower Price Hill and the area south of MSD is not filled with blocks of abandoned buildings. The Area Formerly Known As Queen City Barrel is still being cleared and cleaned up. KOI Auto Parts has an occupied building there, MSD has a driver training course there, the Kroger Commissary is west of MSD, and several other viable businesses exist south and west of MSD.
A couple lumber yards and Trumbull concrete are viable east of MSD, and Micro Metal Finishing is expanding its facilities.
Oh, people live there, too.
The Police Academy occupied the Bengals’ former Spinney Field training facility ‘roundabout 2002, and the Field and playfields are used by local children.
That said there is plenty of room for improvement. The City effected an Urban Blight study that many feared would result in widespread ab/use of eminent domain (MetroWest?) which so far hasn’t materialized. LPH residents are getting signatures to try to convince City Council to make part of “their” riverfront park and not developable for the concrete company (whether Cincinnati needs even more parkspace to maintain is debatable vs. jobs) but at least people are reminded that LPHers aren’t rollovers or pushovers.
To your proposal: if titty bars and “jackoff bookstores” are constitutionally acceptable but not necessarily desirable, and legally regulatable, then is LPH the best place for them, or are they what is best for LPH? Your revenue-stream argument is not without its merits.
I propose a trial balloon: in order to test your hypothesis why not open a titty bar/jackoff bookstore in your home, Dean? Consider it a pilot program by which the revenue stream, popularity, civility and traffic issues can be studied and evaluate to ensure optimal deployment upon rollout in LPH.
Your wife and child should be no more inconvenienced, offended nor threatened than the good people of LPH, but even if they are they will provide a valuable public service by participating in this demonstration project.
Whaddaya say, Dean: let the titty bar and jackoff bookstore patrons into your home/neighborhood and tell us how that goes.
17 Jul 2007 at 07:53 pm | #
Oh, don’t forget a dance pole, a runway & a couple of swings high above the theatre seats & the little round cocktail tables.
Upstairs can be fitted out to become a whore house - all the pretty ladies on the 2nd floor & the cutie, beefy boys on the 3rd floor. Because girls wanna have fun, too!!!!
Imagine, this place could rake in millions each week!! Could Cincinnati become the international tourist destination of choice?????
17 Jul 2007 at 08:20 pm | #
I don’t want to be marginalized. I want to watch nekkid wimmin at the OmniMax in the Nasty History Museum. Anybody got a problem with that?
17 Jul 2007 at 09:08 pm | #
Urbanists II:
My house doesn’t have enough room. But with the bad parking habits and noise coming from the church two doors down, I have no problem with turning them into a strip club. Go for it.
What other unused locations are waiting to be developed?
FF:
What do you mean? Open up the Yellow Pages, and tell me how there are three pages of private escort / out call stripper services if there is not a market in this town for such things!
17 Jul 2007 at 09:33 pm | #
Found MetroWest this time; thank you Oh Snap (#8). It is planned to be a light industrial park. See for more details on MetroWest. I see nothing incompatable with the Dean’s suggestion and light industry being next door.
One does not have to be a patron of adult entertainment to realize that the U.S. Supreme Court has stated one cannot just outright ban it. An adult entertainment district is a reasonable way of handling it. I lived for a year in Hamburg, Germany. The city had an adult entertainment district called the Reeperbahn. It wasn’t all strip clubs and porno shops; I remember a large bowling alley and a theatre, too. The Reeperbahn was an area where adults could go and where children would not be expected.
17 Jul 2007 at 10:25 pm | #
.
“...Open up the Yellow Pages, and tell me how there are three pages of private escort / out call stripper services if there is not a market in this town for such things!...”
Hardly the go-to market !
We don’t intend to go to that phone book section and would argue that since we were unaware, the market is slim pickings. Especially, since more than once some freedom fighters have been called hound dogs ! lol, lol, lol
It doesn’t surprise us that there are personal escort services in hamilton county. How else would a republican get a date ?
Most are closet purchasers, not willing to come out and risk the video camera stalking Dean !
.
18 Jul 2007 at 06:17 am | #
A blue light district sounds ok but every major city has one.
If Cincinnati wants to really compete, it needs something unique in the skin game.
howzabout a sex carnival at the Hamilton County Fairgrounds ?
18 Jul 2007 at 09:09 am | #
Dean writes:
But there may be another solution, a money making concept that takes adult entertainment and tucks it away in an adult district out of view of families and religious people. This could provide an economic benefit to our City’s struggling budget.
Why must this be a money-making project? For whom is the money made?
You apparently want it to fuel government growth; how sick is that? The best thing for many problems is to starve government funding not feed it. Dean appears to be for unfettered socialism or fascism. He want to raise money by stealing it from one minority at a time and funnel it into the hands of a meddling city government. this proposal is all about government control over others.
Why do the others here judge everyone by their own standards. Patton mentioned the Reeperbahn in Hamburg. I have never seen anyone masturbating there. In fact, it draws a lot of people (money) and Germans appear to be mature enough to take it or leave it, unlike most on this forum. You all sound like a bunch of high school guys trying to appear to be so worldly. Get a life!
Dieter
18 Jul 2007 at 10:18 am | #
Dean,
Is the Church you are Talking about at the Vacant Furniture Fair/Kroger on montgomery rd? Did you know that is owned by the school board and was purchased for close to 2 million dollars? It has stayed vacant for many many years probably without a vacant building license that the city forces everyone else to get! Why dont they sell this building if they arent going to build a school? The Public schools could definately use the money from the sale and the area could also use something besides that eyesore building that nothing is ever done with! If you put the pressure on them with your proposal of a strip club maybe they will decide to build a school or sell it off to someone else!
18 Jul 2007 at 10:48 am | #
.
‘....The best thing for many problems is to starve government funding not feed it…..’
Deiter without Peter:
We supose a nice war should achieve your goal.
While we’re draining the government, why not exploit the situation and fuel an inflated cost of living. Line the pockets of oilly men, gun runners, drug lords, goose-steppers !
Sex clubs, War - either way someone is getting f#$@ed !
We suspect the Deiter is a lonely guy ?
Who’s funding you, anyway ?
.
19 Jul 2007 at 08:28 am | #
Found this 10-year old article from the Cincinnati Post. It seems that this idea has come up before, proposed by Phil Heimlich, no less. I haven’t been able to track down for certain yet if the proposal ever made it into the zoning code.
19 Jul 2007 at 09:52 am | #
Section 1413-01 of the Cincinnati Municipal Code restricts Sexually oriented Businesses (SOB’s) to areas zoned MG, or Manufacturing—General. Section 1419-25 has additional restrictions, which I copy below.
The existing codes are clearly designed to limit SOB’s in both number and location.
1419-25:
19 Jul 2007 at 10:18 pm | #
freedom Fighter! (#27)
What are you talking about?
What is my goal?
The name is spelled : Dieter!
Who is “we”?
You make no sense.
Some people should not attempt an argument without reading first what they plan to submit.
Dieter
20 Jul 2007 at 02:08 pm | #
#30: “Some people should not attempt an argument without reading first what they plan to submit.”
Take your own advice, your post makes no sense.